Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Yes,it IS that guy from "Pretty in pink"

Hey,peeps! So,this is a new one for me. I always wondered what it would be like to start a blog. Scratch that, I always wanted to have an interesting enough life to actually write about. But truthfully, details on my life would result in putting readers into such a comatose sleep, and I could not, in good conscious, bring myself to instill that kind of soporific pain upon anyone. Besides, why would I want to waste my time talking about me, when I could be using it to talk about HIM:
Socks are for poor people!says Steff
Okay, so I´ve watched Pretty in Pink several times throughout my life, and each time the movie is coming to an end, and I´m covering my eyes to make sure I don¨t see the girl in the glorified pink mumu and her jelly spined love interest having one of the most akward "passionate kisses" in movie history in a parking lot, I get a gnawing sort of feeling in my stomach. Why am I not happy that these dopey star crossed lovers finally found each other? Why do I gleefully anticipate the moment that Andie realizes that Blaine is missing a personality and a pair, Blaine realizes that Andie is an overbearing bitch with a chip on her shoulder, and it all blows up in their faces?
Andie:What do you mean you haven't told your mother were getting married yet!The wedding is tomorow!


The answer is somewhere in that hotel ballroom, secretly drowning his sorrows in his scotch filled flask, trying to drown out the inner voice that is bitterly asking him what his ex best friend has that he doesn´t ,trying to get his bimbo girlfriend Bennie upstairs for the at least momentary relief from reality via sex and a few joints of the good stuff, all the while, pretending to be king, pretending not to care.
Before anyone acuses me of over analyzing a somewhat trivial character in this teen flick, let me tell you, this guy is the only thing that makes me give a f-ck about this movie. Well, at least after Iona sold out and started dressing like a 40 year old suburbanite and the Duckman folded like today´ laundry in front of Bland´s feet in the prom without even a fight.
The incredibly compelling thing about Steff (played by the overtly awesome James Spader) is that you both envy/hate him with white hot intensity, and pity him to at least the same extent. At least you do if you don´t drink the pink koolaid that the movie seems to want to offer. To many it´s much easier to categorize people in black and white, but not to this mamma. Life has taught her better. Sure Steff is a bit of a prick, but it´s not his fault he has the emotional intelligence of an 8 year old. What is it that people say: "One is a product of his own enviroment"? Makes sense, allthough in this case I would switch product with victim.
 And hey, even if the guy is a complete and utter asshole with no redeeming qualities, he is still worthy of our admiration because:
1) Loafers and No socks!He and only he can make what old men wear to the beach look sexy,edgy and cool.
2) Looks directly at a girl´s crotch when trying to persuade her that he is "talking about more than sex here".
Steff wondering if he too would look pretty "in pink"




3) Doesn´have to go to class,or carry books for that matter because, well, that kind of trivial stuff is beneath him.
4) His voice...Jesus Christ.....his voice! Smoother than a baby´s bottom.
5) Wears a white linen suit like nobody has before or since.
6) Throws awesome parties in the family mansion ,but is way too cool to actually be a part of them, opting to watch music videos and down scotch upstairs in the master bedroom and basking in the afterglow of sex with his hot/trashy girlfriend.
7) Is the only one at prom donning a black tux, you know, like real men wear nowadays.
8) "If we´re going to shoot we gotta shake it"
9) Smokes in the hallways of school without any fear of the consequences. Hell, why would there be any? Even the teachers seem a bit nervous around him.
10) The man is so sexy, so beautifull, it´s like Helen of Troy had sex with a stack of a million dollars and they had a baby boy. Hell, even Andie took a peek of him in his tightie whities at the party (don´t even try to deny it,girl )


For these and many other reasons, Steff has earned something that neither Andie, Blaine or Duckie have earned: Their own personal blog dedicated to nothing but their awesomeness. In it will be anything and everything Steff McKee, from his taste in music, to his thoughts about ObamaCare. Enjoy, as I will, in getting to know this complicated, crazy and lovably messed up character!

No comments: