The ABC´s of Steff McKee

Hey, howyalldoing? So I´ve been checking around Google to see if my little humble blog should happen to show up somewhere and I´ts still nowhere to be seen, so I kinda feel like I´m talking to myself now. But I do that all the time anyway, so it´s ok.
Anyway, I was thinking that if I were to dole out my complete and extensive in depth analysis of the character of Steff (yes, Hamlet has nothing on this guy) in just one sitting I could get carpal tunnel, and anyway ,where´s the fun in putting all the eggs in one basket? So I decided to start small. I decided to start with our friend the alphabet!
I assure you,by the time we reach the 26th letter of the alphabet, we´ll have thoroughly dissected and picked apart everythingt there is to know about our favorite teenage sociopath, from what Steff REALLY thought about Andie´s makeshift prom dress (that one is NOT to be missed),and how to tell with absolute precision when the next school bell will ring. On we go:

IS FOR ALPHA!
Steff is an alpha male. Sure, he isn´t a stereotypical alpha male, as he is rich , gets his hair "coiffed" and "feathered" in a salon, not a barber shop  because it "smells like horse piss in there, and the men look at me all strange"(true quotes from Steff, I kid you not) and the thought of him touching anything mechanical makes him sneer at you in disgust. Nope, Steff is no Stanley Kowalski.Yet  he does share with the alpha male two primary characteristics: Leadership ( Tells people what to
do and they listen, isn´t that right, Blainey?) and Initiative,something sorely lacking in all of the other male characters in the movie. Even Andie´s depressing old dad seems to mope around his house all day in some ratty robe for the movies entire run (seriously, how Andie didn´t lach on to Steff for dear life the moment he asked her out is and always will be beyond me). All of these men were clearly missing a couple of balls from their sacks.
                                                         But not our Steff!


You see, while the other, nicer, rich dude Blaine wasted the first 30 minutes of the movie going around the school sneaking looks at Andiw and roaming around the record store she worked at ,wasting her time  by making akward coversation, and the nice poor dude Duckie was following her around like a lap dog in hopes she would someday notice what a studmuffin he was behind those Lennon glasses and throwing hissy fits when she talked to other boys, Steff was straight and to the point. He took the initiative. He had no time for pretentious computer tricks or riding a bicycle around her house in the rain Hell no! In fact, the first time we lay eyes on Steff he is propositioning the girl everyone seems to want without the break of a sweat. And like the self respecting caveman he really is, he first blocks the means of escape of said female,  looks her body over up and down (in a way of making sure she is fit to carry his offspring, it¨s presumed ),then proceeds to STICK OUT HIS TONGUE between his front teeth, like some kind of magnificent male snake searching out his lunch, . From coolquiz.com:

For the male snake, the tongue is both a sensory organ, and a sensual organ. The tongue plays a vital role in snake courtship and reproduction, as the male snake's jerking body motions and rapidly flicking tongue either charm the female snake, or render her unresponsive. In either instance, by sticking out their tongues, snakes ensure the survival of the species.

Phew! Just typing that made me have a hawt flash. I really should have had my a/c fixed before I started.

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Look, I can roll my tongue into a U.Betcha  Blaine can¨t!

To close this all up, what you need to know about Steff from this, is that he doesn´t fuck around. Well, actually he does, and quite often, but that´s only because he doesn¨t fuck around (you get me?)
Sure this method may not  work on girls like Andie who are still dreaming about pink lacy hats and boys with dreamy eyes and becoming Teh Best  Fashion designer in Dah world and who wouldn´t recognize a good lay if it hit them in the face, but who cares? Those are the kind of girls that expect you to call them the next day anyway.